Fiction: Scenes From an Italian Coffee House
September 20, 2006This here is a script I began writing as way back as the summer of 2003. It has made a few appearances in this place, and has various incarnations. There have been no less than three attempts to get it on film.
The first time was in Australia with a Canadian film student that disappeared and probably died in the outback.
The second time I tried to produce the thing myself. But honestly, the idea of being a producer got to my head and I ended up using to the position to work other angles so to speak. Anyway, I crashed an burned and sometime later, washed up on the shores of the United States.
It was here that I tried for a third time. I enlisted film buff and Massachusetts native Randy Griffith-Perham. He made some contributions to the latest version of the script, but that was the extent of our efforts, aside from having a few readings with prospective actors. It and I stalled and that is that.
Hopefully I’ll get to see this somewhere. I do go to a school known for the artistic funny business. Despite all my efforts, I’ve never dreamed of being a movie star, or doing the Hollywood thing. I wouldn’t mind working on a television show, or one day writing a movie, but that’s about as far as those aspirations go.
And as we all can tell, this is still a work in progress.
SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN COFFEE HOUSE
INT. BEDROOM
CALEB, late twenties, wakes up suddenly. His first action is to reach for a cigarette on the near nightstand. Finding the nightstand empty, he reaches into a purse on the floor and pulls out a crumpled pack. Sliding out a cigarette and a lighter, he bends slowly to light. As he lies back to the pillow, a kind of sorrow melts his face. Cal, feigning a couple of puffs, glances at the clock and sighs. Exhaling, he stands, adjusts his crotch and makes for the bathroom. Stepping out of the frame, he reveals an other inhabitant in the bed. Her naked back faces us.
Cigarette hanging from his mouth, Cal observes himself in the mirror. He sucks in his stomach, puffs out his chest, and examines himself from all angles. With a subtle and quiet shake of his head, he starts the shower. Cal, still sucking on the cigarette, steps into the shower and lets the water roll over him. Only then does he let the cigarette fall from his lips.
Shower finished, Cal strolls to the kitchen in his towel. He looks slightly puzzled to see a fresh pot of coffee, but is nonetheless pleased. He pours himself a cup, drinking it black.
Cal Returns to the bedroom, and steps into his clothes. As the girl continues to sleep, he goes back into her purse, glances to see that she does not stir, then removes another cigarette. Inspecting the lighter, he lights then pockets it and the cigarettes.
INT. COFFEE SHOP
Cal slides into a booth were another guy in his mid twenties is already sitting, drinking a cup, and working a crossword in a ‘womans’ magazine. This is Dan.
DAN
So how’d it go last night?
CAL
What?
DAN
You know what. When’d you get home?
CAL
Don’t know. Didn’t pay attention. Some time between then and now.
DAN
And?
CAL
And.
DAN
Looked like you and that broad were getting on pretty cordial.
CAL
We were, you know, sharing a moment — all that. That what you want to hear?
DAN
Well goddamn man. What happened?
CAL
It passed.
DAN
It passed?
(WAITRESS, name pending, approaches)
CAL
It passed.
DAN
(To WAITRESS)
What you going to do with a guy like this?
WAITRESS
Keep me out of it.
DAN
No — you’re in, you’re in. It’s too late.
WAITRESS
(Ignoring)
You ready boys or what?
CAL
(Pointing to his open menu)
Do I look like I’m ready?
WAITRESS
(Stuffs pad in smock and departs)
CAL
So. How’d you do last night? I saw you making eyes at some young skirt.
DAN
(Chuckling)
She and I had a thing.
CAL
Did you pull?
DAN
Now, don’t get me wrong. I could of pulled. Just wasn’t feeling it.
CAL
What? You? You not feeling it? You never feel it. You know, if I had a buck for every time you didn’t ‘feel it’, I’d be —
DAN
(Sensitive)
What? What’d you be?
CAL
Rich, Nancy. I was going to say rich.
DAN
(Slow. Shaking his head, he stops to take sip of drink. Eyes tell the story)
So. How’d you do hot shot?
CAL
I said her and I had a moment.
DAN
And?
CAL
And…
(Voice over: we see a girl and CAL getting kind of close, her making most of the moves. The camera follows as she pulls him into a bedroom and shuts the door. The camera pans back to two party wall-flowers who were watching in awe/disbelief. Both have plastic cups of beer. The first takes a sip and then shakes his head as the other takes a sip.)
Let’s see. Back room. Brunette. Green. Eyes. Kate. Kristen. Kelly. Something like that.
(Cut back to table as WAITRESS comes to refill coffee.)
DAN
Get out!
(To WAITRESS)
This guy — this guy’s a money man. You better watch out for this guy.
WAITRESS
Is that right?
DAN
Ain’t that something. Back room with a Brunette. Where was I?
(Cut to Dan sitting on a toilet with same woman’s magazine.)
CAL
Bathroom?
DAN
Damn!
(Cut to Dan thinking back to the night, then nodding to himself, approvingly.)
WAITRESS
Anything boys?
CAL
Yeah. I want the Joey Burger. No onions. No pickles. Hold the lettuce.
WAITRESS
So, you want that bald?
CAL
Bald? No.
(Shakes head looking at waitress.)
No onions. No pickles. No lettuce.
WAITRESS
Hold the lettuce.
CAL
That’s what I said. And a glass of ice water.
WAITRESS
Sure hon — you?
(Turning to Dan.)
DAN
(Looking at coffee. Silent)
CAL
He’s fine. Thank you Missy.
(WAITRESS departs)
DAN
You canoe her?
CAL
There sand in the desert?
DAN
Damn.
CAL
You bet ‘cha!
DAN
(As voice over: Cut to CAL moving in to girl. Girl sits on end of bed and unbuttons shirt, revealing bra. She smiles.)
Kelly?
CAL
Could’ve been Kathleen.
(Cut to a new girl in same pose, and smiling.)
DAN
Katie?
(Cut to new girl in same pose, and looking impatient.)
CAL
Could’ve been Kathryn.
(Cut to new girl in same pose, and looking more impatient.)
DAN
Kathryn?
CAL
(Cut back to table as CAL takes sip from coffee.)
Could’ve been.
DAN
Kathryn L?
CAL
Sure.
DAN
L as in Lomers?
CAL
Sure.
DAN
As in — as in engaged!
CAL
Come on man, did you see that dress. Those tits? You don’t think a guy like this could pull a broad like that?
DAN
I didn’t say that. I just thought she was going with that guy Brain Shapiro. You know that guy don’t you?
DAN (AS VOICEOVER)
(Cut to Brian Shapiro the ‘meatman’ stamping papers behind a counter.)
That one who works downtown at that one place.
CAL
America First Savings and Loan?
DAN
(Cut to a corner shot of an old looking building.)
Yeah. That’s the bank on the corner of State and Main.
CAL
Yeah. I think she happens to see a fellow who works there. So what?
DAN
(DAN looking shocked.)
So? So didn’t he come with her to the party last night?
CAL
(Smirking)
Yeah. Come to think of it, I think he was there. How ‘bout that?
DAN
(Smirking)
Christ.
WAITRESS
(Tosses burger and water in front of CAL, then departs.)
CAL
(Nodding)
Don’t act so shocked man. That guy’s got problems. He had it coming to him. A broad like that, with legs like that, well, she’s got desires man. And that desire is to —
(Yelling at WAITRESS as he picks apart the burger.)
Fuck! I said NO lettuce.
DAN
To play with fire is what that desire is.
CAL
You could call it fire my friend, but then you’d be patronizing — let me tell you — the gravity of the situation.
(Cut to Girl lying back on pillows with shirt still open and in her panties and with a crossword puzzle folded on her knee.)
To be honest with you, it was ‘thee’ hottest sexual experience I have ever had.
DAN
Jesus.
CAL
(Shaking head in self endorsement. Cut to girl. She reads out crossword question. CAL’s head in his hands sitting on the end of the bed. Think impotent.)
And that was that! I didn’t even have to hand her any cab fare. The broad went home with that guy Shapiro. What more could you ask from a night like that?
DAN
(Chuckling)
You — you’re a bad guy. You know that?
CAL
(Waving him off)
So what about that broad you were getting on with?
DAN
Just wasn’t feeling it. What more you want me to say?
CAL
And?
DAN
(Making hand gestures at his eyes.)
Well, she was fucking boggle eyed. Beady little eyes just popping out of her tiny face like a cricket or a cockroach or something. It got weird.
CAL
(Smiling)
I guess she was making eyes at you. Jesus! That bad huh?
DAN
Uh-huh
CAL
But she had a nice ass.
DAN
Nice tits too.
CAL
Just wasn’t feeling it?
DAN
Just wasn’t feeling it.
(CAL eats burger as DAN sips from mug.)
OUT.